You may be from the West Side of Buffalo if...



You may be from the West Side of Buffalo if...

• You are 5' 4", can press 325 pounds, and shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.
  
  
• Your father owns five houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a 1976 Monte Carlo.
  
  
• You really don't think there's anything wrong with Pat Gambino Ford commercials. ("Nahney nahn dahn, nahney nahn uh munt! Hi Mahm!")
  
  
• You would actually consider buying a new car from Pat Gambino Ford, if it weren't for the fact that they don't sell Chevrolets or Cadillacs.
  
  
• Your Firebird always has to be ahead of all the other cars when you are driving down Hertel Avenue.
  
  
• Someone says they work "eaht da' pleahnt," and you know exactly where that is.
  
  
• You brag about having "connections."
  
  
• You consider North Buffalo to be "the suburbs."
  
  
• You share a bathroom with your five brothers, and have no money, but drive a $35,000 Camaro.
  
  
• Your living room has green foil wallpaper, furniture protected by clear vinyl, and "runners" to preserve the lime green shag carpeting underneath.
  
  
• There are no non-GM cars parked on your block.
  
  
• You have your last initial on your garage door.
  
  
• Your front yard has at least three marble statues, one of which is a working fountain.
  
  
• You hire one of your cousins to pave over your entire front yard, so you could have room to park a third Monte Carlo.
  
  
• You worked at La Nova Pizzeria at any point in your life.
  
  
• You have a good "wife beater" (tank top).
  
  
• You have a good pair of Bills tiger-striped "Zubaz" (sweat pants).
  
  
• Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.
  
  
• Your two best friends are your cousin and brother-in-law's brother-in- law.
  
  
• Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your "Just Do Me!" wife beater.
  
  
• You used Salvatore's Italian Gardens as the inspiration for decorating your house.
  
  
• Two of the four station preset buttons on the stereo in your IROC are set to Kiss 98.5, one button is set to WBLK 93.7, and one is set to that dance music station from Toronto at 107.5.
  
  
• At least five of your cousins live on your block.
  
  
• All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather.
  
  
• A diploma from Seneca Vocational High School and one year at ECC earned you the title of "professore" among your aunts.
  
  
• Mickey Rats charges you rent.
  
  
• You are on a first name basis with at least eight banquet hall owners.
  
  
• If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 6", you think his mother had an affair.
  
  
• You have only two degrees of separation between you and everyone that lives west of Richmond Street.
  
  
• There are more than 25 people in your bridal party.
  
  
• You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
  
  
• Thirty years after immigrating to the United States, your parents still say "Pronto?" when answering the phone.
  
  
• You yell "Yo!" when answering the phone.
  
  
• You are offended when the wedding you attend serves less than three fish courses.
  
  
• You share a bathroom with your five brothers, work at a pizzeria, but drive a $25,000 Camaro.
  
  
• At some time, there was a dump truck in your life.
  
  
• You have a $5,000 sound system in your 1978 Monte Carlo.

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