You know you're from Cheektowaga when...



You may be from Cheektowaga if...

• Your favorite restaurant:
  • has its windows covered in neon beer signs
  • has Quick Draw monitors scattered all around the dining area
  • has a bar in the front, with the dining area in the back
  • has no waitresses younger than 50
  • has no customers younger than 50
  • has a non-smoking section consisting of one table
  • is in an old house, with an apartment upstairs
  • has its name in light colored shingles on the roof
  • is host to bands with names like "Joey Delvecchio and his Orchestra" or "The Polka Puretones"
  • has a menu that looks like it hasn't changed since 1958 (every item contains the word "roast" or "fried.")
  • is regularly cited for health code violations - which must mean the food is really good
    
    
• You have rosary beads hanging from your rear view mirror -- and a big Infant of Jesus doll in the back.
  
  
• You live on a street that:
  • is named after something French
  • has a girl's name
  • has a name with religious/Catholic overtones ("Rosary Drive," "St. Jude Court," "Assumption Circle," etc.)
  • has a name that is impossible to pronounce by most people outside the town
    
    
• You get insulted because people don't pronounce your name properly, even though it's 15 letters long with only two vowels.
  
  
• You drive a pre-cab forward era Chrysler product (Aries, Reliant, Dynasty, New Yorker, anything else built on the K platform, etc.).
  
  
• Your actually watch the Mother Angelica show on EWTN (Eternal Word Television Network) on a regular basis.
  
  
• You actually watch that show on EWTN where they recite the Hail Mary over and over again, for hours and hours.
  
  
• You protested at the offices of Adelphia Cable because they considered replacing EWTN with Comedy Central.
  
  
• You can talk for hours on end about which restaurant in town has the best fish fry.
  
  
• You wear white socks with dress shoes, and black socks with sneakers.
  
  
• You consider the following "high culture":
  • sitting on the 50 yard line at Bills games
  • a Starving Artists watercolor of Pope John Paul II hung just right on your wood paneled wall
  • the Dynatones at the St. Stanislaus Day festival in Town Park
  • the Variety Club Telethon
  • Sunday mornings when many Buffalo area radio stations switch to an all-polka format
  • Channel 7 Eyewitness News, especially on nights when lots of houses burn down
  • a good fireman's picnic or lawn fete.
    
    
• You actually know what a "fireman's picnic" and "lawn fete" are.
  
  
• You end most of your sentences with the filler word "der."
  
  
• Pierogies are a regular part of your diet.
  
  
• You spend more time and money maintaining your lawn than your house.
  
  
• You pronounce it "Chickatavaga," and you're not joking.
  
  
• You ever bowled a 300 game.
  
  
• Your name is Joanne -- and you pronounce it with three syllables.
  
  
• You ever went to a wedding reception in a bowling alley.
  
  
• You are a third generation American, but you still have an accent that makes you sound like you're from the "da' olt country der."
  
  
• You go to church on Saturday.
  
  
• You ever said "When dat der Waltengalleria opens up der, I'll never shop der. Dat der Troowaymall is just fine for me der."
  
  
• You call the Walden Galleria "Dat bik mall der where dat Leonard Post used to be der."
  
  
• You ever placed a quarter page "Thank you St. Jude" ad in the Cheektowaga Times.
  
  
• You have one or more of the following on your front lawn:
  • pink flamingo
  • "Mary on the half shell"
  • shiny orb on a pedestal
  • silhouette of a hick leaning against a tree
  • shrine to your favorite saint
  • shrine to the Buffalo Bills
  • a concrete goose that's dressed up funny
  • a lawn jockey -- that's black
  • wooden cutout of a fat butt bending over
  • plastic deer
  • jugs filled with water, because you think it keeps dogs from peeing on your lawn
    
    
• You have a "kegmeister" in your living room -- filled with ice cold Genesee Cream Ale.
  
  
• You carry a scanner or walkie-talkie with you everywhere.
  
  
• You still don't eat meat on Friday.
  
  
• Butter seems strange unless it comes in the form of a lamb.
  
  
• You were ever in a traffic jam that formed because a nun was walking slowly across the street.
  
  
• You have a light bar on the roof of your Plymouth Reliant.
  
  
• You consider a marriage between parishoners of Infant of Prauge and Mother of Divine Grace a mixed marriage.

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