You know you're from Amherst when...



You may be from Amherst if...

• You ever boasted about having a Buffalo Sabre as a next door neighbor.
  
  
• You ever worked at Stereo Advantage, or any of their affiliated businesses ([insert name here] Advantage, Tony Walker, Aussie [insert name here], etc.).
  
  
• You ever protested a planned apartment complex that was to be built within a mile of your house - but don't mind more big box retail stores like Target and Home Depot.
  
  
• You ever bragged about how many years it has been since you last visited Downtown Buffalo.
  
  
• People get lost trying to find your house.
  
  
• You ever questioned the name "Eastern Hills Mall."
  
  
• You could care less about the Bills, but you have season tickets for the Sabres.
  
  
• You think Eggertsville is a slum.
  
  
• You rarely venture south of I-90, except to go to the ski resorts, the Walden Galleria and Sabres games.
  
  
• Half of your wardrobe consists of Tony Walker goods or Aussie T-shirts ("Give Blood - Play Hockey," "Pain is Temporary - Pride is Permanent," etc.)
  
  
• Your property tax bill is higher than your mortgage payment.
  
  
• You have more than ten cloth baseball caps, all of which have very tightly curled brims.
  
  
• You think a three foot slope is a major hill.
  
  
• Your house has a circular driveway, or a concrete pad perpendicular to your driveway to park yet another Acura.
  
  
• You ever totaled your Lexus by crashing into a deer.
  
  
• The name of your favorite restaurant ends in "Trattoria," "Bistro," "Ristorante," "Cucina," "New American Grill" or "Clay Oven."
  
  
• You holiday in Cape Cod, not Crystal Beach.
  
  
• The only bus you ever rode was yellow.
  
  
• Your neighborhood has more temples, mosques and Protestant churches than Catholic churches.
  
  
• You really don't see what the big deal is about urban sprawl.
  
  
• You live on a street that:
  • is named after the animals and trees that were killed off to build the subdivision
  • is named [insert name here] Del Way
  • is named [insert name here] Lea
  • has an insanely British name ("Barringtonshire Court," "Wexfordham Lane," etc.)
  • has a name that does not end in the word "street" or "avenue"
  • is plowed daily, even when there's no snow
  • is lined with real working gaslights
    
    
• Your lot is measured in acres, not square feet.
  
  
• You think nothing of a new Wal-Mart opening up next to a vacant building that used to be a Kmart, or a new Home Depot next to an empty Chase-Pitkin store.
  
  
• You have a "service" mow your lawn in the summer and plow your driveway in the winter.
  
  
• You say you're from Williamsville, Eggertsville, Snyder, East Amherst, Getzville - but not Amherst itself.
  
  
• You don't have any discernable Buffalo accent whatsoever.
  
  
• You flinch when you hear someone pronounce the town name "Eee-YAM- herst," in a Buffalo accent. You know the proper pronunciation is "AM- erst."

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